Some believe that happiness delivers itself to those who deserve it.  Well what happens to those who don't?  Do they remain lifeless vessals with no hope for self worth?  Or does happiness lie within yourself, and only those with enough determination find it?

I didnt understand the tone in his voice.  Things have changed between us.  He sounded cold and distant.
I didn't understand why he felt the need to turn the knife one last time.  It was as if he had become heartless, and lacked emotion.
I started feeling sick to my stomach.
"Shit" I shouted.  It was 5:02 and I was late for work.  I typed..."Hope your happy one day, goodbye Cole."  With that he logged off.  A tear had begun to fill my eye, I pushed it back and said "I will be ok."

----

The walk to work seemed surreal.  Its as if even the trees could feel my pain.  I took long akward steps, making my feet touch the pavement ever so softly.  The air smelled like winter, cold and bitter.   A young couple sat on a bench infront of the park by my job.  Their legs intertwined, stealing kisses from one and other.  I looked up at the sky and shook my head.  "Why are you punishing me?"  wondering if God could hear my silent plea.   I had lost the one thing that had made me feel whole, now what did I have left?

----

My fake smile pleased the customers I waited on.  I wondered if they could see right through me, and know that my insides were hurting.  They all seemed happy and content, it made me question if they too were hiding pain.  

----

When I got home all I wanted to do was fall into a deep sleep.  I was disgusted by the way my fate had turned on me.  I had lost Haley for chosing Cole over her, and now I had lost Cole too.  All I ever wanted was to be happy.  Maybe I am one of the few that arent ment to be happy.  At this point I am not sure if I have enough determination to find happiness.  The heart is the hardest thing to put back together once its broken.  Bones are set and then they heal.  Even if you found someone to put the pieces back together there will always be a part of you broken.

----

If there's just one piece of advice i can give you,
it's this - when there's something you really want, fight for it,
 don't give up no matter how hopeless it seems. and when you've lost hope,
ask yourself if 10 years from now, you're gonna wish you gave it just one more shot.
because the best things in life, they don't come free.

                                                                                                    -Sophie